I used to worry about having a tidy house. Not that I ever achieved tidyness, but I certainly coveted it! Wouldn't it be nice (I thought) to have one of those houses where the dishes were always in the cupboard, the floors always looked freshly swept and mopped, and the toys were all in their places? I've gotten over that in recent years, not because I've come to love living in a messy, cluttered house. (I don't think I'll ever get there!) But because I realized what the lack of the"mess" and "clutter" would mean. If the toys were all in their places, that would mean my kids weren't here to play with them. It would mean they were somewhere else, not here with me. Ditto for the dining room table covered with craft projects. And the patio filled with bikes and scooters. And the bathtub overflowing with dozens of rubber duckies wet washcloths. And the sofa covered in stuffed animals while the pretty throw pillows get thrown around the room and on the floor. (Whoever named those things must have had kids!) And, yes, even the sink filled with unwashed dishes! I've stopped seeing these things as just more work for me to do and instead choose to see them as evidence of our full and happy life.
We are surrounded by abundance. We are wealthy beyond belief. Whenever I doubt this, whenever I feel I am lacking anything, all I have to do is look around me. The evidence is overwhelming. We are BLESSED. Not just by things, but by what those things represent.
"Messes", when I look at them in this way, are really AFFIRMATIONS. When I look at the dirty dishes, I see the evidence of healthy, home cooked meals and full bellies. They attest to the fact that, unlike many people in this world, we never lack fresh water to drink or go to bed hungry.
The bikes and the scooters scattered across the patio don't just keep my husband and me on our toes when we walk out the door in the morning. They are also proof of my kids' health. Instead of cursing the bikes as I step around them, I say a quick prayer of thanks because my kids are able to ride them.
The dirt on the kitchen floor? That's just evidence that my kids spent the day running and playing outdoors, in the fresh air, in our FABULOUS back yard. A backyard that, because it isn't "perfect", is absolutely perfect for digging, climbing, running, catching bugs, chasing rabbits, picking wildflowers, and lying on the grass watching the clouds make pictures in the sky.
The projects and books on the dining room table speak volumes about the creativity, passion, excitement, and exploration that my kids and I experience here each and every day. Each time I move the projects, books, and toys off the table as we sit down to eat yet another nutritious meal, I remind myself that there are much worse things in life than a "messy" house.
As I pick up my husband's socks from the bathroom floor, I feel so blessed to have him...so thankful that he chooses to come home at night to be with his family. He's not in a bar, or out with another woman, or any number of other places some husbands and fathers choose to be. I think about the fact that he comes home to his family after working all day to make this life of abundance possible, and that he spends every minute of his free time helping others. Is a perfectly manicured lawn or finished house REALLY more important than that? No matter how much I would like to have painted walls and finished floors, my answer is always "no". I would much rather be married to a man who has spending time with his family at the top of his priority list.
Whenever I find myself wanting to make excuses for the way our house looks, I recite a couple of my mantras:
"Our home is for freedom of expression, not impression."
and
"People before things."
That usually puts my thoughts back on the right track.
